Cruel and Unusual or Just Cruel?
by Angel Paradine
Summary: The G-Pilots are finished saving earth now they have another mission...a rather unpleasant mission. Please R&R!
1. Default Chapter

Title: Cruel and Unusual or Just Cruel?  
  
Author: Paradine Tigress  
  
E-Mail Addy: [1]Paradine_Tigress@hotmail.com  
  
Website: None Yet  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Category: Humor, Gundam Wing  
  
Pairings: Heero/Kimiko, Duo/Nikana, Quatre/Moria, Wufei/Sally, Trowa/Pink Bunny  
  
Warnings: Implies pairings (Figure it out)  
  
Spoilers: Entire Series, Beginning of Endless Waltz  
  
Summary: What happens when the G-Pilots go to an OZ federated school...hehehehehehehehehehe!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own GW or any of the characters except for Nikana and I have shared rights over Kimiko and Moria. I take no credit for any of the creation of the original Gundam characters and I am not paid to write these ficcys. G- characters are owned by Bandai and the creators of the show. So please do not sue me! I have no moneys! Hope you Enjoy!  
  
The Gundam Pilots are on leave for a while after saving Earth from total annihilation at the hands of Zechs Merquise. Under the advice of Sally Po and Lucrezia Noin, the Gundam pilots "decide" or rather are forced, to continue their studies at a school they have never heard of in another state, not to mention in the middle of no where.  
  
"There are only a few conditions." Noin finished. "There will be no Gundams and no weapons."  
  
Nikana gave Heero a sidelong glance. She knew he was thinking the same thing she was.  
  
Noin caught the movement out of the corner of her eye. "Heero? Nikana?" She addressed the two in a I know what you're up to tone of voice. "Step foreword." Oh Great! Nikana thought. She stepped foreword a smile on her face; less could be said for Heero's expression.  
  
"Hand over all your weapons now." Heero sighed and pulled his gun out from where ever our He-chan keeps it. "Nikana?" Noin pressed. She sighed and opened up her trench coat revealing at least one load of arsenals. She took the two guns from her side holsters and lay them on the ground before Noin. She then pulled the knives that she had hidden about her from their respective places and lay them next to the guns she had just placed there, following other odds and ends, eventually ending up with a pile at least a foot tall.  
  
"Kuso!" `Kana what else have you got hidden on you?" Moria asked.  
  
Duo walked over and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. "That's nothing compared to what I have taken off of her when..." `Kana put a hand over his mouth to keep him from embarrassing her further.  
  
Sally shot Wufei a sly look and he deterred his eyes. Noin opted to ignore Duo's comment or confession rather, and pressed on with the topic at hand. "Well now that `Kana has handed over a small arsenal we can continue with the details of this assignment. You'll be starting about four weeks into the school year, but that's ok you haven't missed much. You may take your Gundams to Earth but you must hide them somewhere. They will not be accepted at school. We already have housing arrangements for you." Noin finished.  
  
"You will be staying in the same house and going to the same school." Sally added. "You will be leaving in one hour."  
  
Great Nikana thought I wonder if I will be commissioned by the U.F.A.R. (United, Federations, Against, Romefeller)  
  
"Oh Nikana, one more thing. We have contacted Raith and Garrachus informing them you are taking time off to go to school." Sally informed her, breaking her thoughts. Isn't this going to be fun! Nikana thought sarcastically. Duo wrapped his arm around `Kana's waist pulling her closer to him. "Come on `Kana it won't be that bad."  
  
This is going to be the trip from hell.  
  
***  
  
Nikana slunk back to her room only to find Heero had gotten there first.  
  
"What are you doing here?" She demanded.  
  
"Noin put me up to searching your room." Heero stated casually. "It takes an agent to search an agent you know."  
  
"How much?" She asked impatiently.  
  
"Fifty will do and a gun."  
  
She handed him the bill and a handgun. "It's not like I don't have licenses for all this stuff." Besides, I can only take out half a city block with the small amount of C-4 Noin didn't force me to give her. Good thing I always keep a spare arsenal hidden where no one can find it. She mumbled under her breath.  
  
"Now Heero, if you will excuse me, I have a lot of packing to do if we are to leave in one hour." Heero just stared back at her. Duo entered the room with his one suitcase in hand.  
  
"Hey `Kana let me help you pack."  
  
"No Duo that really won't be necessary."  
  
Duo was already making his way over to her closet casually, making a move for the door handle.  
  
"No Duo I can get it, really, no don't open that...door." Too late. He already pulled the door toward him. Duo ducked as a bunch of guns, ammo, grenades, knives and many other things he didn't recognize rained down from inside the closet, overflowing onto the floor. He would have wagered anything that the majority of the stuff was either for making some huge nukes, or it was for taking out Gundanium.  
  
"Well hidden? Where no one will find it huh?" Heero asked with a chuckle.  
  
"Oh that was just part of what I was packing...the more obvious part. Noin never said anything about taking things that could make weapons." Nikana smiled innocently at the two of them.  
  
"So shall we get on with it?" Duo picked his jaw up off the floor and nodded, no doubt dazed.  
  
***  
  
References  
  
1. mailto:Paradine_Tigress@hotmail.com 


	2. The trip

The trip was nothing like she had anticipated. It was worse. She thought up the worst case scenario to begin with and it only got worse as the hours ticked by. She tried to sleep most of the ride there but that is a little hard when your human pillow is constantly in danger of becoming a human punching bag.  
  
When they finally got there all the G-Pilots got out of the car anxiously. She even ignored the rest of the pilots as they attempted to kill Duo.  
  
The trip had started with several choruses of "Are we there Yet?" a knock off of some song she knew in French. Followed shortly by several threats from Heero about shooting Duo and, several threats of "Omae o Korosu" to which Duo would be quiet for a whole three minutes then begin talking again. Then there was the one incident when Duo asked if it said IceQueen on Moria's birth certificate or if it had her day name. She got pissed and Quatre had to restrain her from dirtying the cars interior with Duo's dismemberment. Not to mention the trip took four days longer than expected when, Duo wanted to stop at every rest stop they saw or wildlife viewing center.  
  
She unlocked the front door to the house in the middle of no where, and opened it. She slammed the door behind her and walked down the hall selecting a room with her own bathroom in it. She threw her stuff on the floor. `Kana looked at her watch. 8:30 p.m. Agenda in hand she gave it a quick once over. The bus came at 6:40 a.m. Oh Joy! School didn't start until 7:35 a.m. So much for getting everything set up tonight She walked over to her suitcase, selecting the one with her clothes in it, and began hanging them up in the closet. Noin had checked the bags before they left, luckily not finding anything that she had packed from her small arsenal. That was the next thing to be unloaded, which she made sure to distribute throughout the room as deemed fit. Deciding to hook up her electronics in the morning, she grabbed her nightclothes off the bed slipping into them. On her way across the room she flicked the light off as she crawled into bed.  
  
Duo came in, unharmed, no more than twenty minutes later and she was already asleep and had already set her alarm. He bent down over her bed and gently kissed her on the forehead. "Night `Kana." He whispered with a smile.  
  
*** 


End file.
